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=Exposition/Inciting Incident=

Hi, my name's Oliver Murphy, and this story is about my first few weeks at Washington School which were as wild as riding a bull bareback! "Mom, do I have to go to school today?" "Yes, you do. You'll have a nice day, don't worry." When Oliver arrived at school he was as scared as a mouse being sniffed by a cat! He walked all the way to his new class. The teacher's name was Mrs. Lalippy. As soon as he arrived he saw a lot of faces all coming over to meet me. Oliver only knew one face from his kindergarten, but he didn't speak. One boy came over and said hello in a rude way after bumping into me on purpose. He said, "Sup. My name's Jim." His voice was loud and nasty. As soon as Oliver met him he didn't like him. He had brown hair and cool clothes. He was shorter than Oliver. From that moment on, he knew this was going to be an interesting few weeks of school.

WHERE IS WASHINGTON SCHOOL? WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE? DID YOU JUST MOVE TO TOWN? WHAT DID YOUR CLASSROOM LOOK LIKE? WHAT DOES OLIVER LOOK LIKE? WHAT DID THE BOY LOOK LIKE? WHY DID JIM BUMP INTO OLIVER ON PURPOSE? AREY OU TELLING THIS IN 3RD PERSON OR FIRST PERSON? WHY DIDN'T OLIVER LIKE HIM? WHY DID HTE THINK THIS WAS GOING TO BE A FEW INTERESTING WEEKS OF SCHOOL?

=Rising Action=

The first class Oliver had was gym. It was so big that everytime a ball was bounced the gym seemed to talk to him. The teacher was extremely nice. He had dark curly hair and looked to be in his early fifties. The gym was one of the biggest he ever saw. It had six basketball hoops and a stage (one of the largest he ever saw). The walls were painted white, and the gym had a pretty large cafeteria. The gym was the vacation destination for the kids of the school. The teacher's name was Mr. Heinsfield. Mr. Heinsfield let Oliver sit where he would like to sit, and since Oliver sort of knew this one kid, the one from his kindergarten, he asked if he could sit there and Mr. Heinsfield said,"Sure." Then the boy spoke up, "My name's Frank. You were in my kindergarten class, right?" "Yes, my name is Oliver, in case you didn't remember." Suddenly Jim strolled up and said,"Why didn't you sit next to me?!" " "Because, because, well I don't want to." Jim growled and walked away infuriated. Frank quickly blurted out, "Oliver, you got him really angry!" "So?" "The last person who got him angry, got beat up." "Uh-oh." "Frank you got to help me. He's probably going to kill me!" "Don't worry, as long as you stay close to a teacher he won't try anything." "Are you sure?" "Yes."

HOW DID YOU GET TO CLASS? WHAT DO THE HALLWAYS OF THE SCHOOL LOOK LIKE? HOW DID YOU MEET FRANK? WHY WERE YOU MEAN TO JIM? WHERE DID JIM GO AND SIT? HOW DID OLIVER FEEL ABOUT HOW HE TREATED JIM? YOU ARE IN KINDERGARTEN...HOW POSSIBLE/REALISTIC IS TO TO GET INTO A VIOLENT FIGHT? TELL ABOUT THE PERSON'S WHO GOT JIM ANGERED LAST. TELL ABOUT YOUR SETTING. WERE YOU EATING LUNCH? WHAT WERE OLIVER AND FRANK EATING. DESCRIBE HOW OLIVER FELT WHEN HE LEARNED THE INFORMATION ABOUT JIM.

=Climax=

At the end of gym Oliver really didn't have to do anything, since it was his first day. He skimmed the day and went home, and told his mom about his new friend, Frank, leaving out what happened with Jim. His mom was very happy for him. His mom had brown hair and wore a dress and sandals The next few weeks went on very quickly and Oliver almost forgot about Jim's threat. But one day Jim came over and said, "Want to play some basketball?" "No thank you." "Oh come on it will be fun!" "Only if Frank can be reff." "Okay sounds fair" "JUMP BALL!!!!!!!!" Both Jim and Oliver jumped for ball. Oliver got the ball since he was taller, he ran up to the hoop and jumped up to make a lay-up. He accidentally knocked over Jim while jumping up. When he scored he turned back to see Jim holding his knee. He asked him if he was okay. Jim looked very angry and hurt. His eyes were scrunched up like you was sleeping and screamed at Oliver in a stream of cursing and yelling in pain. Oliver kept saying that he was sorry, but he chucked a basketball at Oliver's head. He ducked. He tried to punch Oliver but Oliver decided to throw in the towel and ran up to a teacher, Mrs. Lalippy. She told him to go to the principal's office. While he was heading there, he could hear her yelling at Jim. Oliver solemnly, sadly slumped towards the serious principal's sloppy space.

DID OLIVER PARTICIPATE IN GYM? WHAT GAME DID YOU PLAY? HE SKIMMED THE DAY? DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? MAYBE ADD SOME DIALOGUE BETWEEN OLIVER'S MOM AND DAD ABOUT HIS DAY. DESCRIBE THE WALK HOME? OKAY.... DO YOU THINK THAT THE VIOLENCE IS APPROPRIATE? IS THERE ANOTHER WAY YOU CAN WORD THE ACTIONS OF WHAT HAPPENED SO THAT IT DOES NOT APPEAR SO VIOLENT. IS A PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE SLOPPY?

=Falling Action=

As Oliver reached the principal's office he wasn't greeted by a smile but instead with a frown. He was told to sit down by an extremely strict voice; it was the principal's. The principal's name was Mrs. Serious. She had black hair and a very old style dress. She looked to be about 59 years old. Suddenly she blurted out," How dare you start a fight on these premises!!!!!!!!!!!!" "But Mrs.Serious I didn't start the fight!" 'Oh you didn't?!, than who did!?" 'Jim maam." " I see that you are not prevaricating." Suddenly Jim walked in with anger on his face. He was also limping from his fall. "Oliver knocked me over on purpose!!!!!!" screeched Jim "I did not!" "Did!" "Didn't!" "Did!" "Boys, boys we're not going to solve anything by fighting so please just stop!!!!!!!!!" "Now please honestly tell me who started the fight" Suddenly the bell rang. It went "b-b-b-b-r-r-r-i-i-i-n-n-g-g-g". "Alright then boys. Time's up. We will have to finish this tomorrow." Oliver and Jim quietly walked out to their large classroom,"room #22" to get their book-bags, for they knew tomorrow was going to be a big day.

WHY WAS OLIVER SENT TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE? TELL ABOUT THE WALK FROM THE PLAYGROUND TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE. DID THE TEACHER TALK TO YOU AND JIM? SHOULD THIS BE IN THE CLIMAX? TELL ABOUT THE EMOTIONS FELT BY JIM AND OLIVER. WHAT WERE EACH ONE OF THEM THINKING WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?

=Resolution=

The next day as soon as Oliver unpacked his shag of a bag, He heard a loud noise and then heard this; "Oliver and Jim please report to the principal's office immediately (it was the p.a system.) Oliver gulped as he quietly walked to the principal's office. When he arrived he noticed things he didn't notice the day before. First he looked around the office noticing new things like her room had an air conditioning vent in the back and a curved desk that had a whole bunch of pictures of # 1 teacher (he was pretty sure she made those for herself, to show she was loved by all students - even though she wasn't ) And other pictures that said # 1 principal. Then Mrs. Serious walked in and said,"Good morning, Oliver." She seemed a lot calmer than yesterday to Oliver. She was actually happy to see him! Oliver quickly responded, so he would not appear to be rude. "Good morning yourself, Mrs. Serious" "Now Oliver ,I found out everything that happened from Mrs.Lalippy. You are not up the creek without a paddle." "Thank you. I will wait outside then until you are done with Jim." Then Jim walked in and Oliver left. All Oliver could hear was yelling and apologizing, And then after about 15 minutes he heard "GO TELL HIM THAT" and then Jim came out and said he's sorry. Of course Oliver accepted his apology. Me and my new best friend,Frank, are still best friends to this very day. So, as you can see, the first thing you want do when you go to a new school is find a best friend. Having a friend will help you. It's like how Frank warned his new best friend about Jim. And now Oliver and Jim get along fine with each other.

"SHAG OF A BAG" EXPLAIN.... DO YOU THINK DISRESPECTING AN ELDER IS APPROPRIATE? WOULD OLIVER SAY THAT TO ONE OF HIS TEACHERS? DID MRS. LALIPPY SEE WHAT HAPPENED BECAUSE IN THE RISING ACTION YOU SAID THAT YOU RAN UP TO THE TEACHER WHICH WOULD INDICATE THAT NO ONE SAW WHAT HAPPENED. AGAIN ARE YOU TELLING THIS PERSON IN 1ST OR 3RD PERSON? PICK ONE AND WRITE THAT WAY THROUGHOUT YOUR STORY.

THEME? YOUR THEME FROM "BELLE PRATER'S BOY" SHOULD HAVE BEEN PRESENT HERE.