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=Exposition/Inciting Incident= Today I was happy because it was the best day ever. It was halloween. I love Halloween because you get a lot of candy and it is fun to see all the costumes. As I walked to my big bricked school I saw all the kids and there funny costumes. First period our spanish teacher Senora Fernado said "Everyone take out your textbooks and homework." So everyone shouted "ok" and got their homework and textbooks. We were going to make mask but we ran out of time because we were marching in a paraed I saw many costumes some where scary and some where cool. Then in the Next we went to second period and Miss Kenny said Everyone take your journals out and write your journal." We wrote about a stormy and windy night. Then it was third period and I met up with my best friends Billy-JoeBob, Billy-Joe, and Billy-Bob in gym We all have been friends for about Threee years. They are somtimes very trustworthy but they can't always be trusted. We were all gansters for Halloween We all had hats necklecess and sunglasses. Later that day at about five I went to Billy-Bob's house for a party. It was fun till I let billybob see my phone and he dropped crash, it and lost it I couln't see it at all..I wasn't to mad at him but I was for a little while. Evan though I dropped my phone I still had fun and I got a lot of candy. I got lolli pops, snickers,babyruthes,starburst,and twizzlers. They were all so good and colorful and juicy. I was as sad as a bumble bee that can't fly.That led me to not trust Anthony as much. Then when we finally were done trick or treating I ate some of my candy I was so full I felt like I couln't eat for a month.

Then when I got home my mom asked " Bob were is your phone." "I dont know I hollered. She was pretty mad but not to mad because she knew we would find it. Then I went to bed.

. WHAT THE DECORATIONS AT THE PARTY LOOK LIKE? . =Rising Action= My friends may seem funny and trust worthy. I can always here Billy joe bob saying" sorry I dropped your" "can you trust me with this" I I am saying "sure why not". Evan though I found my phone I can trust them. Billy Bob found it in the street on Harval. But I cant trust Billy Bob because the phone was so lost it dissapeared. I never found it. Then with billy bob he lost my sunglasses and he never found them. It was like the phone was the grounds seed and it planted inot the ground. I could only hear the kids screaming trick or treat. Evan though they can be trusted somtimes. If they dont lye I can trust them with stuff. I also can let them borrow stuff that is hard to break. If they are loyal i can trust them If they dont brake thing I can let them borrow stuff that can brake. If they broke something I would probly feal the cracks. I can't always trust them because you never now when they are lying. Also I can not have them touching and borrowing my personal stuff. I can't fully blame Billy Bob for dropping my phone because it was like the phone got up and walked away. so it was not is falt at all pretty much. I also can't lye and say that I can't to them and not let them borrow anything. That would be mean. I should let them borrow things but only if they are trustworthy and if they break anything I would eveantually get over it.

DESCRIBE SETTING. YOUR DIALOGUE IS UNCLEAR. WHAT CAN YOU CHANGE TO MAKE IT CLEARER? YOUR RISING ACTION NEEDS TO BE 3 MINI ROAD BLOCKS THAT HAVE BEGINNINGS, MIDDLES, AND ENDS. WHAT ARE THEY. TELL EACH ONE OF THOSE STORIES USING DESCRIPTIVE DETAILS. (CHRIS, THIS SECTION NEEDS WORK).

=Climax= One day before Bill-Joe-Bob lost my phone. I was at Billy-Bob's we had a playdate. We were having a nerf gun fight when in put my black sunglasses down. Then two hours I left and I left my sunglasses at Bill Joe Bob house so I called him and asked him to bring them to school. The next day I asked him "Billy joe bob do you have my sunglasses?" "No sorry Bob I forgot them." he hollered. Then I forgot about them. Later that week I just remembered that I left my sunglasses at his house. So when I asked him if he had them he said no sorry Bob I lost them. I was very sad. They were no were to be found I checked every where and I looked in every place. He said he would try his hardest to find them. The next week he called me and said "Chris I found your sunglasses." I said "great don't forget to bring them to school tommarrow. He said he wouldnt. So the next day I got my sunglasses. I was extreamly happy. The next day it was halloween. Billy Bob Billy JOe Bob and Billy Joe and I were all gagsters. Billy Joe Bob lost my phone so I was pretty mean to him but I should have not been because you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family meaning that friends can never talk to you again but family won't do that. I could not trust Billy Joe Bob with anything valuable. I was a very sad sack on a serene scary night. Evan though Billy Joe Bob dropped my phone I got over it and was able to trust him. I can go to them for anything now because it was little things that got me sad and mad.

ARE YOU BACK TRACKING? THE CLIMAX IS WEHRE EVERYTHING TAKES PLACE AND THE CHARACTERS CONFRONT SOME TYPE OF SITUATION THAT WAS PRESENTED IN THE INCITING INCIDENT. DESCRIBE THE SETTING. ADD DESCRIPTIVE DETAILS. WAS IT ACCIDENTAL WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR PHONE?

=Falling Action= Sometimes my friends can be trusted and somtimes they can't be. Evan though they may have lost some of my things I can trust them most of the time.They are very trustworthy if you trust them back becuse they just need to trust you back. They all are nice they sometimes can bewierd and they can also be meaan. Not all the time that they are mean like onetime I left my bathing suit at Billy Bob's house and he called me and said I forgot it. My friends are nice and cool. They are always there for me. I can go to them for adivce, if I forgot homework I can ask them to give it to me. I need help with something they can help me. Sometimes I can help them and we kinda help each other all the. The main thing is I can go to them for anything because they are always there for me. They always say "Cheese you are the best you rule" And I said "So are you." I can always hear us saying stuff like Bob can you copy the homework and I say sure hold on.When i copy the homework i always hear it going beep beep buzz buzz. You know what they always say The best of friends make the worst of enemies. So think about that before you get into an other fight with your friends.

WAS THERE A FIGHT? CHRIS, YOU NEED A FOCUS FOR YOUR STORY. I AM FINDING IT HARD TO UNDERSTAND YOUR STORY FROM BEGINNING TO END. THE FALLING ACTION BRINGS THE READER DOWN FROM THE CLIMAX. ASK YOURSELF WHAT IS THE REAL PROBLEM HERE AND WORK BACKWARDS TO SEE IF YOU CAN MAKE A CLEAR BEGINNING, MIDDLE, AND END TO YOIUR STORY. KEEP DESCRIPTIVE DETAILS AND FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE IN MIND.

=Resolution= Can you always trust your friends? I always thought that until they started to respect my property like Billy Joe Bob never stop looking for my phone and I have to give him credit and can't be mad at him he did it by accident. My friends may be creepy sleepy people but they are not like that all the time. I remember one time Billy Bob and Billy Joe Bob asked me "Bob do you want to come over" and I for some reason said "no I am too tired to do anything." It was weird because I am always the energetic one. Friends are the best people to talk to. One time I had to tell them a secret and he barely heard it was very quiet. Friends are always there for me like one time I fell and I cut my hand and he helped and he put a banded. I didn't Evan see it coming. Friends are always there for you. I remember seeing one of my friends in pain and they hurt there leg and I helped them. He sprained his ankle. It was as scary as a pitch black cave. He turned out being fine just with a cast. In conclusion friends always stand by each other.

SEE NOTES IN ABOVE SECTION. I AM GLAD YOU PUT YOUR THEME HERE; YOU JUST NEED TO FOCUS ON ONE INCIDENT THAT YOU CAN TELL ABOUT FRIENDSHIP FROM BEGINNING TO END. THE RESOLUTION CLEARS UP ANY LOSE ENDS FROM THE EARLIER PARTS IN THE STORY.