26

=Exposition/Inciting Incident=

"Mom! Gina just came back from Florida can she come over?" I asked "Yes, Gina can come over,"said Mom. When Gina came over, it was 2:30; I had waited 15 minutes on a humid sunny Tuesday in July. As soon as she walked threw my big brown door I hugged her like a bear, so quickly she wasn't even a step inside my house. We had not seen each other all summer because she was in Orlando,Florida visiting her old friends. She looked 3 inches taller, and tanner then the last time I saw her. She smelled like a beach more than a lifeguard himself would. She reminded me of the unforgettable scent of sun tan lotion and salt water. We went into my pool, hung out, played spit, caught up, and had so much fun, and she slept over, and we watched CSI. We stayed up until 3:30 in the morning and laughed the whole time, until we couldn't breath anymore. I thought we were going to die soon!

DESCRIBE SETTING. WHO IS GINA? WHY WAS SHE IN FLORIDA? WHAT IS THE CENTRAL CONFLICT (INCITING INCIDENT)? YOU DON'T MENTION A PROBLEM HERE. CAN YOU ADD DIALOGUE BETWEEN YOU AND GINA?

=Rising Action= "Hey." Gina yelled over to Sam "Hey." replied Sam "Do you want to walk over to center?" "Sure!" Sam asked Gina why she was friends with me. Gina being the good friend she is stood up for me and said that I am nice, funny, and a good person to tell secrets to. Sam then said yeah but she is so much bigger than you, it's like you are using her as a guard. Gina said no she is just a really good person we are so close. When Gina told me this I started crying because I know I am a little bigger but Sam didn't have to make fun of me like that. It made me feel really uncomfortable. Over the next couple of days the weather's mood seemed to change with mine. It seemed like it was raining when I was crying, and it was sunny when I was happy. I figured out ice cream mends a broken heart. For the next couple days all I remember seeing were fake smiles, and computer screens with a lot of instant messages.

"Hey, Courtney," Katelynn said, "I heard what Sam said about you, I think that is so mean, are you okay? "Yeah, I'm okay," I answered, " You know you're the first person to ask me that, not even Gina asked." "Really?" "Yeah, really, I'm just thankful someone cares about how other people feel." For a while we talked about what happened at while sitting in the bleachers waiting for a wrestling match to start. When we were done talking I felt so much better because I had gotten everything I was feeling off my chest. I knew that day Katelynn and I were going to be good friends for a long time. After that I felt so much better that I wasn't crying anymore, and all the whispering behind my back had stopped. I could finally talk to people without putting on a fake smile anymore. This was all possible because Katelynn took the time to talk to me and see how I was feeling. I even faced Sam because we were friends and I wanted to put a little mend to this fight. I would never fully forgive her but I just wanted to know why she said what she said. Turns out she didn't mean to say it but Alex, Amber, and Ashley said I was saying things about her. But that is just our grade for you rumor start and then fights and then drama.

"Court, did you and Sam make up?" asked Katelynn "Yeah, were good," I said, "My next challenge is Gina." "Oh, what is wrong between you two now?" "Nothing really, it's just she changed a little after going to Florida and now she has no time for me anymore." "Good luck with that." "Thank you, I might need it." The next day I asked Gina why she was wasn't hanging out with me. She said she was sorry and that she was just busy getting caught up with other people and getting unpacked. I told her it was okay I just felt left out. She told me she was sorry that I felt that way and she was going to hang out with me more. I wish it were only that easy unfortunately that is not the case.

WHAT WAS THE WALK TO THE CENTER LIKE? DESCRIBE WEATHER, SETTING. IS SAM A FRIEND OF YOURS? DESCRIBE CHARACTER'S APPEARANCE. WHAT DID YOU TELL GINA? WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION? HOW DID YOU FEEL? WHAT WERE THE FAKE SMILES? CAN YOU ELABORATE? WHO IS KATELYNN? DESCRIBE HER APPEARANCE. DESCRIBE SETTING. HOW DID YOU KNOW THE WHISPERING STOPPED? EXPLAIN THE STORY ABOUT ALEX, AMBERM AND AHSLEY. HOW DID THEY SPREAD RUMORS? WHAT DID THEY DO? WHY? YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN THE CHANGE THAT HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU AND GINA? THIS IS A NEW STORY AND THE LACK OF DETAIL MAKE IT UNCLEAR TO THE READER.

=Climax=

"Court, did you speak to Gina?" questioned Katelynn "Yeah I talked to her, since it was nothing serious we're okay." I commented "Good, so you're good with everyone." "Yeah I for now I am." The next perfect summer day, Gina and Katelynn came over. We had an unimaginable amount of fun. We went to center with like 20 other people. It was the most craziest summer ever! We were wild with summer time excitement. There would be dead air and everyone would still wind up cracking up hysterically. Everyday we would go to center have a yummy lunch from the bagel place and the Paula's Pizza Place. The pizza was the perfect temperature and saucy. After going to center we would come back to my house and hang out in my pool. The water felt pure and has if it had no chlorine in it. I didn't want the summer to ever end. It was perfect, no drama. Just hanging out with close friends, going to center, going down the shore, celebrating my birthday, and having barbecues and sleeping late! I love summer so much! By the end of the summer I was ready to go back to school but I didn't want to. I knew as soon as I walked threw the school doors the rumors and drama would just slap me in the face. I wasn't ready to have to go back to that, but I don't think anyone was. As soon as school started the way Gina changed really showed. I still was her friend but she didn't come over as much, and we slowly drifted apart. She went to a group and I went to another. The first week of school and I can feel I am slowly losing a friend. It is fifth grade all over again. I didn't think I could go threw it again. Do you think you could again?

THE CLIMAX IS WHERE ALL OF THE ACTION TAKES PLACE. TELL ABOUT THE CONFRONTATION YOU HAD WITH GINA. WHY IS IT SUDDENLY NOT A BIG DEAL? TELL ABOUT THE SETTING. WHAT DID THE BAGEL PLACE LOOK LIKE; THE PIZZA PLACE? THE STORY KIND OF JUMPS HERE; GO BACK TO YOUR RISING ACTION AND THINK OF A WAY TO TIE THE TWO TOGETHER. DESCRIBE THE SETTINGS OF THE SHORE. REMEMBER DESCRIPTIVE DETAILS.

=Falling Action=

“I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly. I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky. And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change. And breakaway. Out of the darkness and into the sun. But I won't forget all the ones that I love. I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change. And breakaway.” Sang Kelly Clarkson as the loud, startling bell told us to go to our next subject. That song played as the bell to switch as common as a grandma at bingo. I couldn’t wait to go to my next subject because it was gym, which was my only class with my best friends Gina and Katelynn. “Hey, Katelynn,” I screamed across the hallway to Katelynn, “Wait up for me, I’ll walk with you to gym.” “Okay, I’m waiting for you.” Katelynn screamed back to me. Katelynn and I recently became friends. And Gina and I have been friends since she moved here in 4th grade. The only thing was coming to a new school, Lincoln Middle School. This meant fewer, if any classes together and less time to spend together because of more homework than Washington Elementary School. The homework was so much harder it takes me 2 hours to finish. Gina was the same way with doing her homework. Unfortunately while we were spending so much time on our homework and with different friends we eventually we didn’t spend time with each other anymore she was spending time with Alex, Amber, and Ashley. Since this happened fatality soon came to our friendship. Now things have gotten better but we don’t hang out with each other we just talk in the hallway during school, and that's it.

DESCRIBE SETTING. HOW MUCH TIME HAS GONE BY SINCE THE CLIMAX? CAN YOU PROVIDE SOME DETAILS? THINK OF YOUR SENSES. DIALOGUE BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU?

=Resolution=

"Hey." said Courtney in the hallway to Gina. Gina put a smile on her face and said "Hi." We haven't been talking lately, but the further Gina and I got away the closer I was getting to Katelynn. I didn't like loosing Gina but I was getting another friend. I wasn't comfortable with the situation I felt like a bug under a magnify glass. The reason we stopped being friends, I don't know, which really bothered me. The whole process went by extremely fast, we didn't even know that it was happening. It was like a tornado that no one saw coming. At least no one's feelings got hurt, and it just happened. You know what they say, if you are in collage with at least 5 friends then you are a lucky person. This is what happened and the sad thing is this does happen.

THEME? YOUR THEME FROM "BELLE PRATER'S BOY" NEEDS TO BE PRESENT HERE. DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE FRIENDSHIP YOU HAVE WITH GINA AND HOW IT HAS CHANGED? WHAT ABOUT KATELYNN? ARE YOU GLAD THAT YOU HAVE SOMEONE NEW TO DEPEND ON? CAN YOU PROVIDE DETAIL? WHAT ABOUT THE SETTING?